I actually enjoy being alone daily, though not every one understands this. It is essential to our life experience that we make time to be on our own. With out this personal space and time to reflect we live a rushed and often senseless life.
What I want to challenge you to do for the month of July is to make this your greatest priority. I am suggesting you make a minimum half hour commitment to alone time. This is not to replace your work out, hobby time or social time. This is separate time you need to make a priority and place for.
This alone time requires you unplug completely from devices, conversation, activity and distraction. You may find you have to fight your self and others to do this but I promise you it is so very essential to your happiness.
People don’t need you as much as you may perceive (sorry- I realize this may be hard for you to hear). You may think the world will come crashing down if you pull out for a half hour, but it wont. In fact everything will hum along just fine in your “absence” so to speak. If you can not find 30 minutes in a 24 hour clock to find personal peace then you are sustaining a very draining and dysfunctional life that is not yours at all.
I know first hand how tough it is to get others to understand your need to be alone but they actually need it too. There are a variety of reasons why it is hard for them to support it but you teach people how to treat you. This July the instruction begins. Some times they are simply unaware, bored, needy or you have taught them to depend on you to an extreme. People often use others to fill in the gaps. You may find some one calls you often from their car when they are bored, interrupts you to avoid work they don’t want to do or when they are down -they show up to dump on you.
It begins early. When I let my son watch a show, even if I have given him a healthy snack before-hand, he comes to me every commercial break asking for a snack. This is because people are addicted to stimulation early on and when they feel a gap they look for ways to fill it. You may be doing the same. Filling up every gap with eating, texting, web browsing, tweeting, gossiping, shopping…and so on.
Telling others you are taking daily alone time is fine- only if you plan on taking it. You may find -you are the one you need to convince most. It may help to pre-plan a convenient time or write a daily reminder to ensure you do it. But what do you DO during this alone time?
If that feels daunting here is a little help:
You could go for a daily walk or simply sit in nature -the point is to avoid too much activity, thinking, talking or doing. Remember: when you wind down your daily alone time you may want to write down some insights but try to avoid making this the time you plan your to do list. Just be alone, breathe and let go of what thoughts or feelings you may be holding on to. Be still, aware and smile.
You can do this, I will be doing it with you every day.
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